erebus-cheslock:

“Politeness, The most acceptable hypocrisy.”

~Ambrose Bierce

It wasn’t just the women and kids who had to show breeding by displaying the rules of etiquette. Men had their own rules that they had to follow if they didn’t want to be viewed as vulgur or become an outcast.

• It was bad manners to allow a lady to get herself a chair, pick up something she had dropped or ring the bell for servants while a gentleman was in the room. Etiquette rules stated that these duties should be carried out by the man on her behalf.
• A man always had to remove his hat when entering a room even if the room was empty. The only exception was if there was genuinely no place to put his hat.
• A very bad breach of etiquette was for a man to sit while a lady was left standing. He must immediately offer her the use of his own chair even if ‘the gentleman has the best seat in the room, he must offer it to a lady’ . However, if his seat was warm from where he had been sitting, he must go and get another seat for the lady and not offer her the one that was still warm.
• If a man escorted a lady to the opera, ballet etc., he must remain seated with her during the performance and avoid talking while the performance was on.
• In one etiquette rule book it was firmly stated that “Showing affection in public was brazen vulgarity .”
• A famous Victorian point of etiquette was that “a gentleman should be seen and not smelled. They should use but little perfume as too much is in very bad taste”.
• The Victorians were always hot on how, as they saw it, inferior people should be treated: “In the company of an inferior, never let him feel inferior. If you invite someone of an inferior class, such as an employee, treat him as you would another member present.”
• In conversation a gentleman should never speak about himself or his self importance and only to speak with others on subjects they are interested in.
• Safe subjects to talk about included - books, balls, bonnets, metaphysics, traveling, the weather.
• As well as as the above, a gentleman was also expected to: “avoid showing his learning and accomplishments in the presence of ignorant, inferior or vulgar people - who can by no possibility understand or appreciate what is being said.”
• It was considered bad manners and vulgar to ask a direct question. A Victorian gentleman could never ask for example “How is your Mother?” They had to put the question in another form such as “I hope your Mother is doing well? ”
• But the gentleman also had to remember not to ask a lady about anything that might offend her or upset her.
• The gentleman must never use slang terms and phrases in polite company. These vulgar terms should only be used in bar rooms and other low places.
• It was apparently bad manners and vulgar to joke at the expense of a lady.

erebus-cheslock:

• Don’t keep other people waiting; be there in time.
• Don’t lie back in your chair or place your elbows on the table.
• Don’t sit sideways, but straight to the table.
• Don’t seat yourself until all the ladies at the table are seated.
• Don’t bend your head for each mouthful.  Sit erect.
• Don’t cut your bread. Break if off.
• Don’t use your knife to carry food to your mouth.
• Don’t use your fork as if it were a pitchfork.
• Don’t make any noise with your mouth when eating.
• Don’t speak with your mouth full or even half full.
• Don’t begin a sentence before you have finished swallowing.
• Don’t drink a glassful at a gulp.
• Don’t have your elbows away from your body when eating or drinking.
• Don’t ever spit a bone or seed upon your plate or the floor.
• Don’t wipe your face with your napkin.  It is for the lips and beard only.
• Don’t forget to see that all the ladies are served before you.
• Don’t neglect the ladies to your left or right.
• Don’t look worried if a small accident should happen.
• Don’t leave your knife and fork on your plate when sent for a second supply.
• Don’t pile up all the dishes upon your plate when it is to be removed.
• Don’t come to the table half dressed, half washed, half combed.
• Don’t over eat.
• Don’t leave the table before the others unless unavoidable and then always asked to be excused.

Top Ten Swear Words

1. Balls - shortened from ballocks
2. Bootlicker - same as ass-licker
3. Cherry - vulgar term for a young woman
4. Quim - female genitalia
5. Strumpet - a whore
6. Blazes - hell or the devil
7. Cussed - cursed or mean
8. Dratted - expletive or used for damned
9. Lickfinger/Lick-spittle - kiss-ass
10. Tarnation/Nation - used for damnation

BONUS: Top Five Surprisingly Naughty Words

1. Bull - taboo word because it was associated with sexual potency so polite people said cow brute, a gentleman cow, a top cow, or a seed ox.
2. Dad - euphamism for God as in ‘dad-blame it.’
3. Dickens - devil as in ‘what the Dickens are you doing?’
4. Inexpressibles - a euphemism for pants or trousers. This was due to the fact that the legs were considered extremely private. People usually said limb instead of the word leg. Also very awkward to use in your writing without explaining and even more awkward for your character to stop and explain it. 
5. Mary - homosexual.

(Source: erebus-cheslock)